Some First Date Advice

I have often said that daygame is the easy bit. The real seduction and attraction takes place on the date. It really is a blind spot for most guys, however. They plough through the turmoil on the street and acquire some leads and eventually a date but find themselves all at sea again as they often tell me the girl ends up friend zoning them, rejecting their advances and the evening fizzles out with a peck on the cheek as oppose to a bang.

I often speak to guys who call me for dating advice – how to run a date – escalate and get to a point where you can say, “let’s go back to mine” and the girl readily wants to agree, as oppose to the generic “let’s go for one more drink” as a desperate attempt is made is cold-start the seduction as the girl is walked to an Airbnb which invariably leads to ‘I’m not coming in” or hours of “LMR” as she is taken through clunky Torero-styled seduction e.g. I have half a bottle of wine, or “let’s watch cats do backflips on my 12-inch laptop in my bedroom, because my neighbours don’t like noise“

All of this is is really bad practise. In my experience I have found that the overwhelming number of my first dates lead to lays and I want to share some of my experience in this short post.

On the early stages of a date I like to form quite long statements on a topic – nothing too heavy – movies, for example. We will talk about our favourite movie genre. For me it is horror. I will discuss two or three of my favourite horror movies and discuss what was so special about them – talking about the use of open space and dread in the 1968 classic, Whistle and I’ll come to you. Or the origins of Halloween and the ancient pagan festival of Samhain in Halloween 3. I will ruminate on themes, feelings and what they mean to me. I will tie them into my experience of landscape and my interests. Camping, the outdoors in general. I will weave between topics – using my voice tone, pacing and eye contact as a means to augment the intelligence and drive the attraction.

It is a conversation, of course and I never over-dominate nor pontificate on elaborate me me me Krauser-styled monologues on politics, jews or how good I am at scrambling eggs. The conversation ties intelligence to friendly themes and seasons this attraction driven via eye-contact, pace of speaking and voice tone.

My experience has shown me that many girls have told me they have become extremely turned on in such moments (the most recent on Friday night with a girl who did not come back on the first date, but who messaged me saying she wants to see me again and was wet as she sat there listening to me). Towards the end of the date, when certain waypoints have been passed, I will simply say, “let’s go watch that movie I was telling you about at mine”.

This is a short post on a complex theme but it is actionable advice and will help those of you who care caught in the rut of smiley, Americanised-grinning-game or running baroque tropes like Questions Game, Strawberry Fields etc.

Understand some of the female attraction triggers and you will get laid more. This post should help.

For more in-depth advice on how to run your dates – my book is available here. Chapter 6 covers this in detail.