How to get a girlfriend

Amidst all the manosphere dickwaving and technical back and forth in the daygame community, its easy to lose sight of the fact that most men are looking for normality: they just want to find a girlfriend to develop a life with.

What advice would I give to a man of any age to achieve this aim? Here goes.

Avoid Online Dating

1. I would personally avoid any form of online dating. The data is quite clear on this. Most online platforms such as Tinder, Bumble and Hinge etc seem to be full of bot accounts, prostitutes, attention whores, gold diggers and carousel girls. Even if you have the value – and by value I mean you are a reasonably well put together guy, good-looking, normal, with a good future ahead of you, most women simply aren’t interested in this. They are looking for fashion accessory boyfriends, or they will be women with such unrealistic ideas about their own intrinsic value, that they will be aiming for the top 5% of men on the platform (in terms of looks, money etc). I have seen this myself* as men I know who are ostensibly way better looking than me (or in some cases wealthier) match with women who ignored their opening messages but who I ended up dating because I met them through daygame.
2. The online dating space is shit fest of thirsty, desperate men who are more than happy to present, or lead with money, thereby creating a soft sugar daddy/whore culture where some women become tempted for a greased lifestyle. This form of transactional relationship – and the cognitive dissonance it creates – leads to the pantomime of women pretending they like the man for intrinsic qualities while the men commit the most egregious lie to themselves in order to get access to sex with women who would not ordinarily date them for their qualities alone. It is a sorry charade of two people lying to each other and ignoring the elephant in the room, and increasingly common online, where low value men/women dance together in a sordid race to the bottom – sharing the lie as part of their exchange.
3. It is a broken sexual marketplace with an unequal exchange of value. Look at the UK online dating pool and you will see it is increasingly comprised of obese, tattooed women with masculine traits, excessive partying and drinking, promiscuity and mental health tells. I have lost count of the number of men I have met/worked with you are well put together and forced to endure this dating pool. You will not get a girlfriend in this ecology.

So. What is the alternative?

My advice to my younger self and any man of today would be learn daygame for the power it provides you to meet women on your own terms. If you are a younger man in your 20s, or an older man the prescription is the same. Learn the conversational elements and key behaviours to meet women in the real world. Daygame is not some dark art or sinister exploitative play (a trope pushed by the femisphere and main stream media) it is a simple means to start conversation and state some basic intent with a view to obtaining a date.

There are of course levels to daygame and many things you need to work on and develop as a man to ensure you value delivery crosses the acceptability threshold, but most of these are simple short- and medium-term fixes.

I can put the reader in touch with many guys I know and who I have worked with who will attest to this claim – that getting off the online apps and focussing on real world daygame as well as your own development is transformative.

Ditch the apps. They wear you down, they BlackPill you and drive the pessimism and cynicism. Get out there in the real world.

If you want to learn more about daygame coaching with me, message me on Telegram or via X @BroodingSea

*I have had several dates with women I met through daygame who coincidentally matched on Tinder with a better looking guy than me (his messages went unanswered). This tells us what we instinctively know – that some women are increasingly fatigued by the impersonal nature of online dating that is increasingly forced upon people of today.

BroodingSea, July 2025