Lay Report #Whatever

On Friday I received a slight IOI from a well-dressed, sexy Polish woman waiting at a tram stop. Some four hours later she was at my hotel covered in my cum.

I ran the interaction on autopilot: running all the background processes of confidence, articulate conversation, rapid escalation and the avoidance of infantile-teasing. I generated key emotional states. As she left my hotel room I peered out go my hotel window to watch her get into the taxi, before going downstairs to meet my mate for drinks. I felt nothing. No joy, no reward and no buzz of excitement. I think it was my 64th or 65th daygame lay.

I have zero interest, will or desire to count anymore lays. Even at the stage of counting my sets I was fatigued by 1000, and by 2000 I was repulsed. The only purpose it served was to gloat about how the dataset was sufficiently large that it smoothed out any aberrations and showed a clear and consistent pattern that I am a 1/30 guy who has the ability to consistently seduce and sleep with girls half my age and who are much-better looking than me – in other words, I am a cheat-code to the Sexual Market Place.

I feel strangely cut-off from this desire now and a slight apathy and resentment to the idea of “continuing it” that is to say, chase down more and more instances of fast sex. I recall discussing this at length with John Bodi back in 2021 – where I paid lip-service to the idea of searching for an out. I would convince myself that 2022 was to be utilised to meet and settle with a girlfriend. Sure, some superficially nice prospects for relationships have come and gone, but they have failed owing to two factors: the first of which is principally due to the girls age and stage of development in her life (in other words the girls intrinsically represent the wrong foundation for a relationship). The second reason is down to my own attitude which has been to simply chase more women and sleep with more women for pointless Twitter posturing. More recently, both Nick Krauser and I met several times to discuss the ‘correction’ that many players need to make and the challenges that such a realisation places on you as a man. It was fascinating to hear about the positive steps he made and efforts he has made to find that sweet-spot between player-boyfriend.

To be sure, I have cultivated and a developed a skill-set that has led to some great adventure stories but these are all empty vessels. At the heart of this introspection resides the most difficult question to answer and that is simply this:

Do I want children and even want a long-term relationship?

I am very happy on my own – with my own life. I have some friends and interests outside of game. The question remains just how much do I want versus need a relationship and is the notion of fathering a child the panacea it is heralded as being? I say this because I know several people in deeply unhappy and dysfunctional relationships and children have not made these any easier to tolerate. Many times some of my blue-pill friends have confided in me me that they envy my life (despite having zero understanding about my immersion in the daygame world – it would blow their mind if they did). This is not to say I do not shun the notion of a girlfriend. I have had 2 or 3 over the last decade and I have enjoyed the relationships (for the most part). I miss the closeness and bonding you develop with a woman. But equally, I do not rely on it for my sense of value and well-being as many men do.

So I enter 2023 having had one daygame date and I fucked her that day. But all of the key questions I have been asking, weighing up the pros- and cons has yet to mature towards a strategy I can follow with confidence into the future.

I fly to Krakow on Thursday and I will spend a couple of days with a Belorussian girl I know. Sure, I will do some daygame but I will be employing a slightly less front-footed approach from now on. Sex will come, but I simply want to enjoy the process of slowly dating a girl and taking things slowly.

BroodingSea, January 2023