Guys I have had coached almost always ask me the question, How did you get into daygame and why do you do it? I will deal with the second part of the question here. There are three levels to the answer, each of which has increasing meaning for me. On one level, there is the rinse-and-repeat experience of doing sets, getting dates and having sex. This is fine, of course, and it is often quite fun. Then there is the next level, which involves the joy of travelling and seeing the world. The final level is, of course, the one that means the most to me, and that is meeting a woman, falling in love with her, and having the obligation removed by endlessly doing daygame for what is often very enjoyable sex with beautiful women, but which often lacks that deeper reward of connection. Daygame serves these three purposes for me. I feel quite lucky to have met as many women as I have, travelled as much as I have, and fallen in love a couple of times along the way. 

My 19-year-old girlfriend broke up with me two weeks ago for family reasons. In short, her father would never accept the age difference, and it was causing uncertainty and issues at home. Questions were asked: Who was I? What were my intentions? Etc. I let it go; I had to. That is, until she reached out this week and said she wanted to work things out, get her parents on board, and have no more secrets and lies. We are currently working out a plan to make this happen. 

This was also the week that I had three new daygame lays, including one from last night with a girl that, frankly, I should have no right to have access to. A significant IG account and modelling portfolio, and a body that is ridiculously designed to send men into irrationality. Earlier in the week, there was a 20-year-old Polish girl and a 24-year-old British girl, both of whom came straight to my apartment after having had a short date with them previously. Parsed between these experiences were regular meetings with my ex-girlfriend, in which all the lays, the sets, and the sex were just noise.

So yes, I had three new lays this week, and as enjoyable as they are, I did so in the form of an apathetic routine. Undertandably, to anyone reading this, this is very much a 1st World Problem. But this is where I am now at this stage of my ‘development or journey’; call it what you will. I have found far more enjoyment and satisfaction, reward, and meaning in spending time with the girlfriend, and I’d trade off the lays and dates for more time with her. It leads me to re-emphasise the third point: why endlessly chase after other women when I am dating a girl who is more attractive than most I meet on the street, who I have a deep emotional connection with and can lose myself in a meaningful experience with often for days and weeks at a time? I would regularly walk along the streets of Poland and see all manner of beautiful women, but none of them really brought anything into my imagination that prompted me to chase Twitter Clout when I had a stunning girl who I connected with. I think for me that this has been a reasonable test that I still have a degree of anchoring to normality—in other words, the need to chase women and pontificate online about it has no real meaning if I’m in a relationship with a girl that means something to me and triggers a stronger sexual desire than practically anything else I see on the street. Is this the litmus test of a positive reason to do daygame and a positive aim to aspire to? For me, yes. For the reader? Perhaps not. I guess it is why I took a large amount of time away from daygame last year and even up until recently—until the cracks showed in the relationship and the dawning reality that I could never be accepted by her family—which forced me to get back on the horse. I have been ruthless in this, as we have seen this week. During the couple of periods we had some relationship downtime, including last week, I hit daygame hard with venom and entitlement. 

Daygame can and often does provide you with a cheat code—access to women outside your usual dating ecology. If, for example, you are a guy who has been used to dating mid-level British women in London or Birmingham, daygame can expose you to some utterly captivating young women. Daygame done well will see you date up and practicing the dark art of hypergamy—discarding the subset of women that was the gruel of your pre-game days and elevating yourself up through ‘the levels’ of daygame competency. The success indicators are, of course, meeting, having sex with, and forming relationships with ever more beautiful and more feminine women along the way. This is the vector of improvement. This must be the goal—and it is a healthy goal—to meet the best quality women you can meet in a continuous positive trend of improvement. There comes a point on the graph where you have to reach the apex, and it is pointless chasing more. If you don’t experience this, there will be some pretty negative reasons why you don’t and why you haven’t, especially if you have been in the community for a long time.

Daygame can be fun but also utterly pointless. I feel dismayed and unmotivated by the current crop of daygamers and the content and ideas they produce as well as their motivations for doing it. Having met most of the 1st generation guys and a fair proportion of the newer and ever younger generation of guys out of London in their 20s and early 30s, I see a common trend: None of them are asking deeper questions or presenting original ideas. Their reasons are largely juvenile and surface-level. The daygame community now is almost entirely composed of younger guys in good jobs who make token attempts to downplay their appeal and looks in order to win online kudos. This is a straight fact, as is the fact that the majority of them are practicing age-cohort dating, where reasonably well-put-together guys are dating girls who are closely age-related and often of very ordinary quality. It is telling that many of them sing their success about their hotter girls being one-and-done tourists they met on Tinder as their pinnacle—lucky breaks—before abseiling down the face of mediocrity as they discuss their daygame success with ‘nice girls’—it’s just Twitter Gruel. 

Where are the Roosh’s, the Krauser’s and Torero’s of this New World? Where are the guys with real ideas who got into daygame and broke the mold and smashed the age-cohort and quality constraints? The guys with a public presence don’t convince me and the leading authorities are simply pied pipers. The London scene is dead—overpopulated with plagiarists and fraudsters masquerading as something they are not and leading the novice crowd. I check blogs, read X accounts, and see not a single account in the UK that provokes me to think, reach out, and say: I need to listen to you; I want to know what you’re doing. I want to learn from you. 

I don’t see guys battling big questions and dilemmas, I just see a malaise of mediocrity. No one is breaking the rules and reshaping the landscape. 

So why do I do daygame?

I do daygame because it can provide me with access to beauty, sex, and episodes of short-lived and long-term involvement with women. I also do it because I like to travel. But I do it mainly because of the opportunity to experience the art of living – to reach the maximum of the vertex, know that I have reached it, appreciate the high, and build some memories around it. Everything else is just static.

This is just of course my opinion. Written quickly on a train as I travel 3 hours to another city. One mans meaning is another man’s noise. But I guess what I’m saying is if you stick at daygame long enough you’ll appreciate this nuance and you may just be in a position to premept it and enjoy the vertex before you let meaning disappear. Whether that’s the +1, the travel or the girl you truly connected with.

BroodingSea, June 2024